Seven Sufi Jokes

Idries Shah wrote that, "It is believed that the mystical effect of seven Nasrudin tales, studied in succession, is enough to prepare an individual for enlightenment." So here we go:

1.
Nasrudin walked into a shop one day.
The owner came forward to serve him.
"First things first," said Nasrudin; "did you see me walk into your shop?"
"Of course."
"Have you ever seen me before?"
"Never in my life."
"Then how do you know it is me?"
-from Idries Shah's book The Sufis

2.
Nasrudin applied for a job. The manager did not feel he was qualified, so he asked, "Can you read and write?"
Nasrudin replied, "I cannot read, but I can write."
The manager was surprised. "Then write!" he said, and offered him some paper. Nasrudin immediately started writing on it. He went fast -- one page, two pages, three pages.
The manager said, "Now you stop! Please read what you have written, because I cannot read."
Nasruddin said, "I have told you - I can only write! I can't read."
-as recounted by Osho

3.
Nasrudin had been calling on his girlfriend for over a year. One evening the girl's father stopped him as he was leaving and asked, "Look here young man, you have been seeing my daughter for a year now, and I would like to know whether your intentions are honourable or dishonourable?"
Nasrudin's face lit up. "Do you mean to say, Sir,"he said, "That I have a choice?"
-from this website

4.
One day Nasrudin began telling everyone he was God, and because of this he was brought before the Caliph, who said to him, "Last year someone claimed to be a prophet and he was put to death!"
Nasrudin replied, "It was well that you did so, for I did not send him."
-as told by Idries Shah

5.
Nasrudin entered a formal reception area and seated himself at the foremost elegant chair. The Chief of the Guard approached and said: "Sir, those places are reserved for guests of honor."
"Oh, I am more than a mere guest," replied Nasrudin confidently.
"Oh, so are you a diplomat?"
"Far more than that!"
"Really? So you are a minister, perhaps?"
"No, bigger than that too."
"Oho! So you must be the King himself, sir," said the Chief sarcastically.
"Higher than that!"
"What?! Are you higher than the King?! Nobody is higher than the King in this village!"
"Now you have it. I am nobody!" said Nasrudin.
-from this site

6.
A judge in a village court had gone on vacation. Nasrudin was asked to be temporary judge for a day. Nasrudin sat on the Judge's chair with a serious face, gazing around the public and ordered the first case be brought-up for hearing.
"You are right," said Nasrudin after hearing one side.
"You are right," he said after hearing the other side.
"But both cannot be right," said a member of the public sitting in the audience.
"You are right, too" said Nasrudin.
-from this site

7.
Nasrudin was out riding when he saw a group of horsemen. Thinking this might be a band of robbers, Nasrudin galloped off hastily. The other men, who were actually friends of his, said, "I wonder where Nasrudin is going in such a hurry?" and trailed after him to find out. Nasrudin, feeling himself pursued, raced to a graveyard, leapt over the fence, and hid behind a tombstone. His friends arrived and, sitting on their horses, leaned over the wall to ask, "Why are you hiding behind that tombstone, Nasrudin?"
"It's more complicated than you realize," replied Nasrudin, discerning what had happened. "I'm here because of you, and you're here because of me."
-as told by Robert Anton Wilson